Comedy

5 Machines That Will Rejuvenate Your Gym

Fun Guy Friday: Your weekly dose of fitness satire.

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With all of this new technology dominating the fitness industry it’s easy to forget what got us here. It was bodybuilding, Tony Little and fitness infomercials that paved the way for where we are today. Trends have come and gone, but there are some things that stand the test of time. If your gym is struggling, it might be time to think about changing what you offer members.

Here are 5 innovative pieces of equipment that will change your gym forever.

1. The Gazelle

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What's more motivating than a stranger in a ponytail breathing down your neck? The hardest part of adding this to your gym is explaining to members that it isn't actually a Gazelle.

2. The Ab Rocket

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I'm not going to sugarcoat it, sending your members into space is going to cost you, but it's a long term investment that'll give your gym the "it" factor.

3. The Rack

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Working out can be tough, why not literally make it torture? Your members will love the deep stretch of their spine that the rack provides.

4. This Thing

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Invention 101: the more wheels something has, the better it is. These wheels spin to give you a great ab workout. Your members can put on their nicest 3 piece suit and head to your gym to get that burn they can't find anywhere else.

5. Sanitized Tape Worms

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This will be perfect for those busy members who just want to swallow a parasite so it can nest in their gut and feed off digesting food.

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